The Pandemic Cake

 

The World Health Organization declares a pandemic on March 11, 2020. I am thinking about why everyone is buying the lentils I’d planned for dinner next week and why I can’t get one of my usual grocery slots and why my daughter is turning her nose up at the orange juice because the right brand is out of stock and this (more expensive) one “tastes funny.” I am thinking about how glad I am that I bought hand sanitizer last week and what everyone is planning on doing with their half dozen packages of toilet paper.

I am not thinking about cake.

On March 11, 2021, the pandemic turns one, and the grocery store drama is (mostly) resolved. We have survived a year of pandemic living, and my daughters request we celebrate this milestone with a cake. They just have one request: the cake must look like a coronavirus.

I leave the design decisions to the little people: chocolate batter, thick blue frosting, and toothpicks topped with mini marshmallows protruding in all directions. We eat every crumb as if our immunity is at stake.

Since everyone is baking sourdough and flour is in short supply, I make a few adjustments to the recipe:

INGREDIENTS

1 empty calendar

1 basket of homeschool supplies (unused, if possible)

562 loads of muddy laundry

½ cup home haircut clippings

3 tablespoons tears

pinch of family conflict (or more, if you’re feeling honest)

handful of lockdowns (count carefully; it’s easy to lose track)

5 cloth masks (used, if possible)

dash of resilience and humour (for garnish)

2 new pets (optional, also for garnish)

METHOD

1) Preheat your oven to its highest temperature. Line a non-stick baking pan with cloth masks and set aside.

2) Shred calendar and homeschool supplies into a large bowl.

3) Add muddy laundry and haircut clippings to shredded paper. Beat until the mixture comes together in an impossible clump.

4) Slowly pour in tears, one tablespoon at a time, until batter reaches desired consistency.

5) Season with conflict and lockdowns.

6) Bake for one year or until you’re ready to throw in the towel.

7) Top with new pets (if using), resilience, and humour before serving.

On March 11, 2022, the pandemic is two, and I am thinking about cake. This year the frosting is purple, and the ingredients look a little more normal, but I forgot to take the masks out of the pan.

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This post is part of a blog hop to share our pandemic stories. It's hosted by www.laurapbass.com and you can read the next post in the blog hop by clicking here.